International Protection Accommodation Services
(But We're Completely Full, Sorry)
7 April 2026 — After discovering there are zero beds left in the entire country, IPAS has introduced a bold new strategy: redirect everyone to England. "They still have plenty of room," said a completely made-up spokesperson.
Local livestock have formed a union and are demanding priority housing. "Baaaaack off — this field belongs to us!"
Even the clouds are complaining about overcrowding. Ryanair has launched emergency flights to England at bargain prices.